FR: So Disappointing and Frustrating

FUCKIN SHIT!!!!!!!!! What ALMOST was. I know ALMOST isn't good enough, but FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(edited to take out most of the unnecessary swearing that i had originally included late last night when i was still slightly buzzed )

What ALMOST was. I know ALMOST isn't good enough, but FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, here's my field report from tonight.

Went to dinner with a couple coworkers. We decided to go to Main Street in Santa Monica afterward. We ended up at the Library (i think?) first, not much going on there. It's a pretty small bar and they were already calling last call at like 11PM. So we just had a round of beers and left. We then went next door to Rick's Tavern. Not much going on there either. Opened a set, but the chicks weren't cute and it wasn't going anywhere. We have another round of beers and decide to go to Finn McCool's. Not much going on there and we decide to go to another bar. On the way there, we run into these 4 girls. One of which is a 9, but one of my coworkers is already talking to her, so my target becomes the leader of the group, a 7.

We start talking and hit it off right away. we're talking about whatever, I don't remember. A lot of fluff talk, but I'm being C&F and qualifying her at the same time. I'm making her work for my attention. I end up doing my qualifying and spin routine and she likes it. Her hand lingers in mine and we end up holding hands while we walk to my friend's car (intertwined fingers no less!) to go to Renee's Cafe. I keep talking to her, joking back and forth. She seems to be having a really good time. Every time she says something I don't like, I drop her hand and act like I'm pushing her away. She then comes crawling back and takes my hand in hers. FUCK! She's totally into me. I would totally fuck her/go for the kiss, but I can hear her friends talking. I know she has a bf or that she's at least dating someone. FUCK!!! But she's all over me. She's attracted. She's holding my hand. What the fuck do I do?! ARGH!!!!!!!! So we keep walking to my friend's car. I keep pumping the BT. I keeping escalating the kino. I get a kiss from her on my cheek. FUCK!!!!!! I want to make out with her, but I'm too much of a pussy since i know her situation. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?!?? Alas, I just can't do it. I'm not that much of an asshole yet. We finally get to my friend's car. All the while, we had been holding hands, fingers intertwined.

My friend drives my friends, her and her friends to Renee's cafe. We meet up with the guy she's "dating." Her friends don't like the guy she's "dating" and tell me to go talk to her. I try, but she's too much into the guy, so I eject and try to find other girls to talk to. It's pretty late by now and most of the girls have already left Renee's, so there are pretty much no targets left. Not to mention it's raining. I go to find my friends, and we decide it's time to eject. I try to email close her, but she tells me she's dating that guy, so I say fuck it and we leave. FUCK!!! IF ONLY I had K-closed her earlier, it might have been a different story, but it would have been difficult to kiss her in front of her friends...

We were leading the group as we walked to the car, but there was no opportune time to take her away from the sight of her friends.

(added on after some thinking and replies from the guys in the SM Lair)

I now realize that I should have just gone for it, laid my balls on the line. If I fucked up, I fucked up. No big deal. I have to start taking these experiences as just that, experiences. These girls aren't going to stay in my life forever. Just take them as learning experiences. Also, I need to start using time bridges. It will make my closes a lot more solid and give the girls a better reason to give me their contact info.

Awesome, at least I'm able to take something away from the experience. I don't feel as bad now. Until the next time...