My Very First Cold Approach
The following takes place some time in October/November 2005.
After finishing The Game, it was time to start trying out some of the things we had read about. It would begin with some approaches a la Mystery Method.
At the time, Holiday and his roommate lived in Costa Mesa, essentially right across the street from Triangle Square. Due to the convenience, we decided to head over there and make our way to Yardhouse.
Once the escalators had reached the top floor, a seated 2 set was immediately visible, so it was time for me to approach. It's always that first set that's the hardest to approach. A tight knot forms in your stomach and you want to run away, but somehow, you make your legs continue in their motion, but you know that any disturbance or breeze will send you running. As I reach the 2 set and begin to approach from the front, they start talking to some middle aged woman. I'm thinking, "FUCK! What do I do now?!" Instead of running and whimpering, I decided it was too late now, I needed to press through. So I squatted in front of them (not the best position to be in, but a newbie mistake) and proceed to carry on with the opener: "Hey guys, I wanted to get your opinion on something." And then proceed to tail off as if I had *just* realized they were talking to the middle-aged woman.
D: "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt."
2 set: "Oh, it's ok. We were just trying to find out where Shark's is at. Do you know?"
D: "Um, shoot, I can't recall exactly."
Middle-aged woman (MAW): "I think it's (somewhere). Does that sound right?"
D: "Yeah, I think that sounds right."
MAW proceeds to leave.
D: "As I was saying, I wanted to get your guys' opinion about something. My friend is buying a dog and he wants to name it after some 80s cartoon. Have any ideas?"
2 set: "No Idea. Well, actually..."
From there, we try to come up with cartoons, but can't come up with any. 80s cartoons are tough to remember.
Somewhere along the lines, Holiday calls me up and tells me not to squat and go sit in a chair at their table. So I proceed to walk around and sit down in front of them and they turn around to face me. Good call. We shoot the shit some more. They tell me they were trying to get into Sutra, but couldn't get in because they're under 21 so they were trying to find another place to go to since they drove out all the way from Riverside. We talk some more and I eject as I didn't really want to talk to them any longer. I now wanted to open more sets, talk to more people. A new hunger started to take life. A hunger that only a select few people know about.
So I told them it was nice to meet them and good luck. Went off to find my friends and went into Yardhouse where there were no other sets to open. And that was that.
A couple of things I did wrong looking back on that first set:
1. Squatting. Never squat in front of the girl/set. It's very awkward. Instead, if there's an open chair, go sit in it. DUH. Or pull up a chair. Or make the girl stand up, twirl her around and steal her chair.
2. Leaning in during conversation. Back then, I had a bad habit of always leaning in whenever I spoke to people. Always lean back, relax, and take up a lot of space. Make them lean into you.
3. Nervous laughter. That's a problem that took me a long time to get over. It shows nervousness and lack of confidence. It can also show a deficiency with regards to social interaction. Not exactly what you want to portray.
After finishing The Game, it was time to start trying out some of the things we had read about. It would begin with some approaches a la Mystery Method.
At the time, Holiday and his roommate lived in Costa Mesa, essentially right across the street from Triangle Square. Due to the convenience, we decided to head over there and make our way to Yardhouse.
Once the escalators had reached the top floor, a seated 2 set was immediately visible, so it was time for me to approach. It's always that first set that's the hardest to approach. A tight knot forms in your stomach and you want to run away, but somehow, you make your legs continue in their motion, but you know that any disturbance or breeze will send you running. As I reach the 2 set and begin to approach from the front, they start talking to some middle aged woman. I'm thinking, "FUCK! What do I do now?!" Instead of running and whimpering, I decided it was too late now, I needed to press through. So I squatted in front of them (not the best position to be in, but a newbie mistake) and proceed to carry on with the opener: "Hey guys, I wanted to get your opinion on something." And then proceed to tail off as if I had *just* realized they were talking to the middle-aged woman.
D: "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt."
2 set: "Oh, it's ok. We were just trying to find out where Shark's is at. Do you know?"
D: "Um, shoot, I can't recall exactly."
Middle-aged woman (MAW): "I think it's (somewhere). Does that sound right?"
D: "Yeah, I think that sounds right."
MAW proceeds to leave.
D: "As I was saying, I wanted to get your guys' opinion about something. My friend is buying a dog and he wants to name it after some 80s cartoon. Have any ideas?"
2 set: "No Idea. Well, actually..."
From there, we try to come up with cartoons, but can't come up with any. 80s cartoons are tough to remember.
Somewhere along the lines, Holiday calls me up and tells me not to squat and go sit in a chair at their table. So I proceed to walk around and sit down in front of them and they turn around to face me. Good call. We shoot the shit some more. They tell me they were trying to get into Sutra, but couldn't get in because they're under 21 so they were trying to find another place to go to since they drove out all the way from Riverside. We talk some more and I eject as I didn't really want to talk to them any longer. I now wanted to open more sets, talk to more people. A new hunger started to take life. A hunger that only a select few people know about.
So I told them it was nice to meet them and good luck. Went off to find my friends and went into Yardhouse where there were no other sets to open. And that was that.
A couple of things I did wrong looking back on that first set:
1. Squatting. Never squat in front of the girl/set. It's very awkward. Instead, if there's an open chair, go sit in it. DUH. Or pull up a chair. Or make the girl stand up, twirl her around and steal her chair.
2. Leaning in during conversation. Back then, I had a bad habit of always leaning in whenever I spoke to people. Always lean back, relax, and take up a lot of space. Make them lean into you.
3. Nervous laughter. That's a problem that took me a long time to get over. It shows nervousness and lack of confidence. It can also show a deficiency with regards to social interaction. Not exactly what you want to portray.
posted by D at 1:20 PM
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